


Hero or Heroine

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gender Identity, Gender Roles, Gender or Sex Swap, Lady Oscar, Light Angst, Poor Life Choices, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Sexism, The Mage (Simon Snow) is an Asshole, What-If, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24796171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The prophecy predicted the birth of a savior, not a girl. But it is undeniable that Simon is powerful, despite her gender. The Mage will have to shape Simon into the hero the world needed. It was his duty.He will not let a whim of fate upset his plans. He has a son, not a daughter.[...]"Yet, if you want to go to Watford, there is something you need to do.""What?""You will have to tell everyone that you are a boy.""But I am a girl.""You will dress as a boy."She frowned, "Why?""Well, the Chosen One can't be a girl. Nobody would accept you. I couldn't make you go to school either."She was frightened. She didn't want to stay in the orphanage."I will cut my hair, and...and I will wear pants!"Simone wasn't very feminine before, so she didn't have to make a sacrifice. She didn't understand that Mage was manipulating her to be as he wanted."You will be a great Chosen One, Simon."
Relationships: Ebeneza "Ebb" Petty & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Kudos: 9





	Hero or Heroine

**Author's Note:**

> \- Simone use she/her pronouns to refer to herself. She isn't trans, but the Mage forces her to dress as a boy. It's like Lady Oscar and her father. Men, I loved that anime
> 
> \- This fanfiction is inspired by the anime The Rose of Versailles. 
> 
> \- English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any errors.

When Simone was 11 years old, a strange man dressed as Robin Hood came to the orphanage.   
He was tall, blonde, and miss Sheila was afraid of him. Simon liked him immediately for this: she hated miss Sheila, she was always critical with her, blaming her for things she hadn't done. It was funny saw her so afraid by the odd man!  
He told her she had magic! She was a sorceress and would attend school to learn how to use her powers.   
She was very excited and even blew up a lamp.   
He laughed, "You are already very powerful, more than your peers."   
She had felt special. Nobody had ever told her this.   
"Yet, if you want to go to Watford, there is something you need to do."  
"What?"  
"You will have to tell everyone that you are a boy."  
"But I am a girl."   
"You will dress as a boy."   
She frowned, "Why?"   
"Well, the Chosen One can't be a girl. Nobody would accept you. I couldn't make you go to school."   
She was frightened. She didn't want to stay in the orphanage.   
"I will cut my hair, and...and I will wear pants!"  
Simone wasn't very feminine before, so she didn't have to make a sacrifice. She didn't understand that Mage was manipulating her to be as he wanted.   
"You will be a great Chosen One, _Simon_."

Even pretending to be a boy, the wizarding world was suspicious of her. Simone was confused: except for Penny, nobody wanted to be her friend. She thought it was her fault: Simone wasn't very good with words, she couldn't express what she wanted.  
At the orphanage, everyone thought she was strange and made fun of her. In Watford, it was different because nobody teased her, except for Baz, but he was a dummy and a real jerk! When she said it to the Mage, he replied, "You are the most powerful wizard who has ever existed. It's normal that they fear you because you are someone unexpected. You are an earthquake in their old and rotten world."   
"Oh...so, it makes no difference if I'm a boy or not."   
"You are wrong. The Old Families will respect you if they believe you are a boy. If they knew the truth, they wouldn't take you seriously. They wouldn't fear you."   
"Why wouldn't they do it?" she asked.  
"Even if they are powerful, sorceress are still women. They have a fragile soul, and cannot make the same sacrifices as men. The world needs a hero, someone willing to give their all for the cause. You will be that hero, Simon. It's your destiny."   
The Mage's explanation wasn't exhaustive, and Simone didn't understand why a woman couldn't be a hero.   
The Mage saw her confusion and said, "You will understand when you are older. The prophecies are never wrong."   
He said it with such conviction that she believed it too.

During the summer, her new tutor, Alice Montgomery, looked at her with a strange gaze, like she didn't know what to do with her.  
" Are you trans?" she asked, after the social worker left her in front of her door.  
"Uhm...no?"  
" Why do you dress like this?"  
" It's comfortable."  
"The girls don't dress like that - the woman said - Come in. I have something more appropriate for you."   
For Alice, it was appropriate a skirt, a nice dress, long air. But Simone didn't feel comfortable with a dress or a skirt. She didn't want to look feminine. She was a hero! The heroes didn't wear a dress or learned good manners.   
Well, the dress was cute, but she just couldn't wear it! The Mage was clear, he didn't want her to waste time on certain nonsense.   
She had to focus on monsters to defeat, and on the threat of Insidious Humdrum. So, after a few weeks, she put her old clothes back on. Alice didn't approve. She tried in every way to make her change her mind, but Simone was too stubborn. In the end, Alice gave up. When the social worker returned, she said, " I didn't want her the next summer."

Simone managed to hide the truth from Penny too, and she always knew everything! Not even Baz suspected anything, and they shared the room! It was simple to hide it, since she woke up late in the morning, and left the bathroom for him. Baz complained of her laziness, but it was the better way not to have him around. He didn't have to know.   
He would use it against her, to discredit and humiliate her. Nobody knew it for three years. Then, one night she woke up with terrible stomach cramps and blood-soaked sheets.  
Simone panicked. The Mage never explained anything about the puberty or the period. He treated her as if she were a boy, even ignoring the evidence.  
Without thinking about what she was doing, Simone got up, took the covers, and left the room, thanking that Baz was a vampire, and during the night he was somewhere to feed.   
She wandered for an hour, blood running down her legs and stomach cramps. Simone wanted to talk with the Mage, but someone else found her.   
" Simon? Why are you here?"   
Ebb was awake because one of her goats was dead, and she wanted to find the culprit.   
Yet, she soon forgot about the goat when she saw the dirty sheets and the terror in Simone's eyes.   
" Simon..."   
" Ebb, I can explain!" she said in a panic.  
" There is no need. I want to help you. "   
" How?"  
" I have some tea in my cottage. It will help with the pain."   
Simone was conflicted. The Mage wouldn't be happy. She should say no, but the pain was too much, and she was tired.  
" Ok..."   
She followed Ebb. In her cottage, Ebb helped her clean up, and gave her clean clothes.  
" Ebb, I'm sorry, " Simone said, while Ebb started making tea.  
"Why?"  
 _I'm not a true hero. I'm just a little girl who acts like one, and not the person the world needs. I'm trying very hard, but it's not enough._  
It was too much to say. So, Simone responded," I lied to you."   
" I'm sure you had your reasons, " she replied with a smile.   
Ebb asked her nothing. She gave Simone the tea and waited for her to finish it.   
"If you ever have pain again, come to me. Okay?"   
"Yes."   
From then on, Ebb became one of the people she trusted most.   
She never asked why Simone pretended to be a boy, but she respected her choice. She explained her things that the Mage neglected, like the changes her body would face, and helped her to hide her breasts, so that she wouldn't hurt to do it alone.   
"If you are more comfortable like this, who am I to stop you?"   
Simone didn't like to tie her breasts, but it was simpler for her to train. The Mage didn't notice any changes. Well, he had never considered Simone a girl from the start.  
For him, Simone was the Chosen One. The _boy_ of the prophecy. 

During the sixth year, while they were at a picnic, Agatha said, "I love you, Simon."   
She petrified. Simone never expected Agatha to feel something for her. They were good friends: she even went to her house during the Christmas holidays. Agatha was a significant person for her. Simone might feel something for her, if her idea of romance wasn't just about books, and what Penny told her about Micah. Moreover, Agatha believed she was a guy. She wasn't interested in girls, and Simone didn't want to deceive her. Agatha deserved better than a relationship with someone who could never give her everything.  
"I'm sorry, but...uhm...I..."  
"You didn't feel the same - Agatha said sorrowfully, - You like Penny."  
" No, she is just a friend. You are amazing, Agatha. But...but I can't have a relationship with you."  
"It's because you are the Chosen One?"  
No, it's because I'm a girl, and you aren't gay. You like Simon, not Simone.  
" Yes, this is the reason, " she said, feeling guilty for the lie.  
" The Mage says that my life should be dedicated only to protecting others, as he did."  
Agata frowned, " He is alone, Simon. He had no family or friends. Do you want to become like him?"  
" He is a good man, he does everything..."  
Agatha interrupted him, " Simon, I didn't ask you what you think about him. I asked you if you want to be alone like the Mage."   
" I...uhm..." 

Actually, she didn't believe she would live as long as the Mage did: her life was dangerous and every monster wanted her life. If the Insidiosus Humdrum won't kill her, a troll or a goblin some other monster will do it. Also, there was a problem with the Old Families: the Mage was convinced that they were organizing a war.   
So, Simone's life it won't be long enough to worry about the loneliness and anything else.   
" I won't be alone."  
" Simon, you had to think about your future."  
" I had no future, Agatha."  
" You can't know it!" yelled a voice. It was Penny. She had arrived at that moment and looked furious at Simone.  
"Penny..."  
" You will live, Simon Snow. You will have a good life, you will become a wonderful person. I don't care if a prophecy says you will die young. I won't let you be the Mage's weapon for your entire life!"  
" I'm his heir, not his weapon."  
Penny snorted, " I wouldn't say it, since he always sends you on suicide missions!"  
"He does it to protect everyone."  
"Who protects you, Simon?"   
She didn't answer. The Mage had always told her to never rely on anyone. People needed her, she couldn't be weak.  
" For this reason, the Chosen One must be a boy. He must have the strength to protect us all. A woman could never do it."  
" See? You are his weapon! He's taking advantage of you!"  
" Penny!"  
" Don't look at me looks like this, Agatha. You know I'm right."  
" Yes, but..."  
Penny ignored Agatha, " Listen to me carefully, Simon. Don't let the Mage take advantage of you. Who cares about the prophecy? Probably it is invented. Your destiny is only yours!"   
For Simone, it was difficult to accept this. Her whole life was based on what she could do save to save others. The Mage said that her only purpose was to protect the world. Her life was not only her.   
"I'm tired. I'm going to my room now."  
"Simon..."  
" Good night, Penny."

The Mage was disappointed. He had sent Simone to his office and she was ready for his wrath.   
She deserved it: she hadn't been able to defeat the Insidious Humdrum, and she and Penny were seriously injured. The intervention of Penny's mother had avoided the worst.   
She had failed and was ready to face the consequences.  
However, the Mage didn't scream. He said, " I must know it."  
" What?"  
" You are broken, Simon. You are powerful, but unable to use all your power. If you were a real boy..."  
He interrupted, thoughtful.   
The phrase shook her deeply. Broken. She was broken. Simone was broken because she was born with the wrong gender. She knew what the Mage meant: if Simone were a boy, she would be stronger. She would have already defeated the Insidious Humdrum. She clasped his hands.  
Not for the first time, Simone wished there was a spell that made her become a boy. It would be perfect. She could be a real Chosen One and the Mage would not be disappointed with her.   
" I expected more from you, Simon."  
"Sir, I will become stronger. "  
"You can't. That's the problem! You are broken, Simon. I tried to fix you, but I failed to do it."  
" I...I'm sorry. I will..."  
" Don't say anything. All the power you have is wasted in your hands. A girl can't handle this responsibility."  
" I can!"   
The Mage gave her a strange look, " Are you sure?"  
"I..."  
" Simon, there are things you can do, and others that are out of your reach. Be the savior of our world could be one of those things."   
_But you said I'm the Chosen One. If I can't save the world, who could do it?_  
" Go to your room. That's enough for tonight." 


End file.
